Valentine, You’re Still the One

I was on the front porch when you drove by and I waved, preparing for February’s big event, Valentine’s Day, a delicate balancing act involving the one person you’re legally permitted to be romantic with, yet that same person may verbally explode about how you load the dishwasher. Love is a many splendored thing --- mostly.

In the beginning you’re both young and attractive, you’re the sales showroom model with the latest accessories, shining chrome, and perfectly matched tires. Later comes oil leaks, the tires change to orthopedic shoes, and your knees pop whenever you squat.

Time can corrupt your love files, making romance hard to maintain. Which makes Valentine's Day an important reset.

Solomon was a romantic but lost control. He had a thousand wives and concubines and in the Song of Solomon he wrote “…I gathered my myrrh with my spice, I ate my honeycomb with my honey, I drank my wine with my milk. Eat, friends, drink, and be drunk with love!” The guy just wanted to go out for dinner with friends, but women kept taking it as a proposal. Soon, Solly was up to his neck in wedding anniversaries with hundreds of his wives asking him, “Would it kill you to put down the toilet seat?”

I fell in love with a beautiful schoolteacher and rode in on a white horse wearing my armor and sword thinking to rescue her from the frustrations of public education and to get her some transmission fluid for her car. I dismounted, fixed the problem, and later she became my Queen. I took her to my castle and then one day she casually said that I tend to snore when sleeping and “I hate to mention it, but you need to take better aim in the bathroom. Please.”

Her Majesty is now my life-coach. I remember the early days when I would ride with my queen in the saddle behind me, her arms round my waist, whispering sweet words in my ear and one day as we were riding through Camelot she says “You should have turned left back at the intersection” then Siri said “She’s right. Turn around and follow the route. Pay attention.”

Time moved on. The horse died. We sold the castle. I use the sword to chop kale for salads.

Life changes, the kids grow up, it’s harder to cut your toenails, and you notice the mirror in the bathroom is no longer trustworthy. You realize that if you care about certain aspects of your life you need to focus on them and forget the rest. Thus, date night.

Date night isn’t easy at first. You don’t just show up at dinner and instantly return to the carefree couple you once were. You’ve got to talk about the kids, grandkids, and doctor appointments, it’s unavoidable. That would be like Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos hanging out and never mentioning the internet. However, they don’t sleep together. We do. So, at some point, we stop talking about life’s business and just have a good time. You’re reminded what attracted you together in the first place and how you built a life on that attraction, one joy, one crisis, and one event at a time.

Choose her Valentine card carefully my friend. Love is the mainspring of our lives. Put your arms around her and tell her she is what makes your life wonderful. It’s an important day for old lovers. Remember, she knows all the worst and terrible things about you, every single one except your brief undercover work for Augusto Pinochet. She knows your sloppiness, forgetfulness, and your habitual procrastination and failings, still she stands by you.

Without our wives most guys would be living under a bridge, sniffing men’s shoe polish, and miss the entire televised PGA tour season. May God bless her because He’s already blessed you.

Now, go get that card. And some flowers next week, just because, would be nice too.